It's hard sometimes. "Mom mom mom mom mom" becomes a soundtrack we don't even hear anymore. Kind of like elevator music. We can be going about our day and realize they've been saying "mom mom mom mom mom" for 2 minutes and we heard it but didn't hear it at all.
This does not mean that her voice is not important to me. That couldn't be further from the truth. The fact is I'm busy being a mom. I'm cleaning up toys, thinking about making dinner, and off it goes... oh those dishes. Are these clean or dirty? Clean, good. Oh right I have clothes in the washer I need to move over. And that box of clothes I still need to unpack. She's going to want to play dress up. Halloween is coming, I need to run to the store this weekend and get things for her costume. I also need to do a big grocery shop. Well.. I need to make a list. How am I going to pay for all that? I need to be sure and tithe. oh right, church is tomorrow. Maybe there is something for them to wear in that box I need to unpack...On and on and on and on...
Our brains don't stop. We don't even realize we're thinking of 15 things at once and the soundtrack keeps playing, "mom mom mom mom mom." Sometimes it's "mom mom mom mom mom," "yeah, baby?" "Mom." "What Collins?" "......."
Sometimes it's tatteling on her brother. Sometimes she saw a star. Sometimes she needs to eat. Sometimes she needs to hold me. Sometimes it's 1,3,4,5! (she always skips 2, we're working on that.)
The fact of the matter is the quote above stands true. She is little. Sometimes the BIG things to her are big because she is so little. Her perspective is little, so things are BIG.
I wish I could see things through her little-big brown eyes. When I slowwwwww down I can see a gilmps of what she sees. Or at least allow myself to see her experiencing the greatness of this new world that I've had 28 years to see.
I need to remember as I'm busy being a mom, not to forget to be a mom.
Stop being a mom. A cook, a housekeeper, a budgetter, an unpacker and just be with the little girl and boy that have made me a mom.
Sometimes all she needs is for me to color with her for a few minutes. Sometimes he just wants me to sit on the floor so I can be his jungle gym. They don't care if there are clothes on the floor or that box hasn't been unpacked or some dishes are in the dishwasher. They care about the little things, that are big things through their little eyes.
Is that the same as Father is with us? This is more a lesson on prayer than anything...except the other way around. Father is craving for us to talk to him about all the little stuff not just the big stuff. The fact of the matter is our little stuff is big stuff to Him. He wants to hear about everything. A daily, non-stop, constant conversation. Yet, we often only go to Him for the big scary stuff.
The difference is, He is never too busy. He is never not listening. We are never just a soundtrack of noise to him. He delights in us. He's on the edge of his seat to hear every word we will say to him. He does not tire of us. Ever.
"Because he bends down to listen, I will pray as long as I have breath." psalm 116.2nlt
There are many things that having children has taught me about God and His relationship with us.
Im learning to talk to Him more. Every day. About everything. It's important to Him. Everything we want to say and feel is important to Him. Even when I'm yelling at Him, He delights in it. He delights in me and cry's with me, as I do with my children too. Their little thoughts and cries and everything they do are important to me.
It's my job as I'm so busy being a mom, to stop and just be a mom.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
There are a few things I know for sure: I am not 24 anymore. I have brown hair and hazel eyes. I have tattoos but not enough. I love Jesus with all my heart and my 2 kids a close second. I tend to have a foul mouth. I know I am exactly 1/2 organizational and 1/2 creative. I'm co-parenting (mostly) successfully with my ex-husband and his fiancé. I also know I have a lot to learn. Telling my story has helped bring me back to life after years of being stripped down to nothing. I promise to be honest, change my mind, own my story, and never be malice. We're all a lot more alike than we think, I believe we all have a story to tell, this is mine.