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Not Against Flesh and Blood

I have a 15-year old son. He is tall, strong, athletic and the apple of my eye. Maybe it’s just me, but mommas and their boys have a special bond. In a not-weird-creepy way, I have a crush on my son! He is funny, strong and well, he’s handsome. One day some little girl will come and steal his heart. She will have his full attention and momma will be somewhere in the recesses of his mind.—Omy, I can’t handle this. Sorry for the rabbit trail, let’s get back to my point.

Everyday, on his way home from baseball, my son texts me three little words. I can bank on these three words and set my clock by it. These three little words are heartfelt, thoughtful and he truly means them. It’s his way of communicating and reaching out to me. This exchange only happens between he and I, and daily I can trust that he will be reaching out to his momma. Maybe you have heard these words as well. They may sound familiar to you as well. The three words I have come to rely on every single day are:

“What’s for dinner?”

It is true that a good hearty meal motivates my 15-year-old growing boy, but the entire night’s atmosphere is determined by my response. If I respond with a dish that he loves, my son will be a delight the rest of the evening. He’ll show kindness to his sisters, hug me when he walks in, and actually sit with us at the dinner table. On the contrary, when I respond with something that doesn’t meet his high standard of culinary arts, the night is a disaster.

“We are having spaghetti squash and homemade tomato sauce!” I text…. His response:


And… he walks in pouting, throws his bag down and starts looking in the pantry for a packaged substitute for the meal I slaved over. Mommas, you know where I’m going. We work, clean, cook and make sure everything is in order, as we pray over our children all the live long day. All we ask is for is some gratitude; some gratefulness; maybe some recognition. When we get attitude and discontentment the fuse is lit, the trigger is pulled, the dam is broken, and yes war begins.

Personally- and I’m being super honest here because you don’t know me- I want to lash out at my son. (lash meaning scream and throw a tantrum!) I want to give him a lecture, show him how it feels, treat him the way he treated me. That is what comes natural. I am ready to battle against this ungrateful-pimple-faced-voice-cracking teenager. Unfortunately, a similar situation happens with my other kids, my spouse, and even my extended family. I am usually ready to wrestle and give them a three-point sermon on how to be gracious. I’m usually ready to fight for my cause and how I feel.

The struggle is real! And the struggle is daily.

But the struggle is not against them. The fight is not against my son. In fact scripture makes it clear. In Ephesians 6 Paul tells us that “Our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.” Obviously, my son is flesh and blood- literally. So why battle against him? He is on my same team! The enemy is clear- it is Satan and he is scheming against us day and night.

We are in battle, we are wrestling, we are struggling that is for sure, but we must identify our enemy so that we can fight appropriately. So let’s size up the adversary- our #1 foe. And that foe- the “ruler of darkness” is scheming against us. Although he is invisible, hiding in the darkness, he is not fictional. He is planning ways to derail you, discourage you, disarm you. The word scheme in Greek is literally translated to “Methodeia”. He is planning, making account, cleverly deciding how to attack you. And because he is the ruler of this world, he is using the culture to subtly tear us down. He has planned it!

The enemy is crafty but he is not original. He knows I like to have a clean home or at least one that doesn’t smell like a locker room. I like happy, compliant, obedient children. He knows that when you mess with some of these things I begin to sin in my anger. The enemy knows that and he uses it against me. He is doing the same with you. Satan is roaming this world and looking for he can destroy. He wants to steal our joy, kill our witness and destroy our relationships. He is the true enemy we need to fight.

Paul tells us how to fight the enemy. Once you have identified that the enemy is not your teenage daughter who broke curfew or your 16 year-old son that smarted off, you can learn to STAND FIRM against the real enemy. “Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, having done everything to stand firm.” Eph. 6:12 You put it on yourself, then teach you kids to wear it. If they are struggling, if they are tired, if they are too weak, then you as their mom needs to stand in front of him protected him from the flaming arrows of evil. You, mom need to pray for him, not lash out at him.


About the Author

Heidi is a gifted author, bible teacher, and motivational speaker. She is passionate about bringing encouragement, empowerment, and energy to those around her. Heidi has illustrated three scripture coloring books and written "Finding your Passionate Purpose in Life, Leadership and Love."

Entrepreneur at heart, Heidi has built successful businesses and teams while balancing life as a full time mother and wife. She is one of the top leaders with Thirty One Gifts, and has gained countless tools and techniques on how to be a better leader that she is excited to share.

Balancing her busy life, most days you can find Heidi around the dinner table, with her husband Marty, or on the school bleachers cheering on her three busy teenagers. Heidi practices what she teachers, and daily strives to use the concepts she teaches at home with her own family.

Heidi would love to speak at your next conference, retreat, or team meeting, and would love to help you get copies of her books to share with those around you. Heidi also takes on a limited number of client's for personalized business coaching. If you would like more information about bulk ordering, discounts, book signing, or booking Heidi to speak, please do not hesitate to contact our team.

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