Fun? I Don't Know Her.
I’d stopped laughing. I realized something that I love doing, I couldn’t recall the last time I laughed in a wholesome non-cynical way. The kind of laugh that comes from the depths, that is contagious and brings other people in to participate as well.
The weight of life and the seasons we had walked through had drained me of my ability to have fun. There were too many big and weighty decisions that needed to be made, things had ceased to be funny. I had lost a piece of what makes me, me. I found myself wearing a mask when I was in a group to pretend to be the person they knew me to be, after all I didn’t want to be a bummer to people around me. After a while pretending became exhausting and draining.
Fun? What did that even mean anymore? Getting into arguments with strangers on the internet about politics isn’t “fun”. Working out to look like a model isn’t “fun”. Posting things on social media to make it look like I have my crap together isn’t “fun”. Watching the news isn’t “fun”. Even society has exchanged fun for division. Fun doesn’t have to be had at the expense of someone else, in fact I believe fun should bring people together.
I took an inventory of my life and realized I was living it to prove something to other people, I was making plans to be places I didn’t even want to go because I didn’t want have FOMO. What a shallow way to live our lives, a life that is described as a “vapor,” here today and gone tomorrow. Life is too short to live it for the applause or approval of other people.
I remember one summer I took the kids to a lake I grew up on. When I was little, I would play on the dock, swim in the lake and fish…and laugh. I was in the house and I heard a familiar sound, the kids were on the dock laughing and jumping into the lake. The laughter was contagious, it drew me down to the dock to be a part of whatever they were doing. What was happening on social media didn’t matter, what I looked like in that moment didn’t matter, what big decision that needed to be made didn’t matter. It caused me to unplug and realign my priorities.
Fun is something that brings people together, it is something that actually has health benefits to it, it makes hard days less hard and it lives on through our memories. Fun isn’t something reserved for kids, I believe we are wired to need fun in our lives, without it we become boring and no one wants to hang out with the guy who takes everything so serious and needs to talk about how dark life is.
This year I felt challenged to redefine “fun” so I created a list of things that I like doing and find fun, that I don’t need to care if anyone else likes doing these things.
I like riding my bike around my neighborhood.
I like taking walks when the sun is out
I like gardening
I like writing
I like traveling
I like spending time with my friends
I like buying gifts for people
I am buying a picnic basket because….that sounds fun
I like dresses. I just do and I don’t care what people think.
I like a good glass of wine
I like sitting by a fire
I like taking baths
I like googling weird facts
I like Farmer’s Markets
I like baking
I like floating in a pool
I like driving fast
I like watching waves crash on the shore
I like taking long drives and listening to old school alternative music
I like hearing a persons story. People are fascinating.
I like being a part of something new and watching it all come together
I like cheering people on
I have learned I like knowing what I mean to people that has nothing to do with what I have accomplished.
I don’t want to depend on other people to tell me they are proud of me in order for me accomplish things. I have dreams in my heart and I want to get to the end of my life empty because I did everything that God placed in me to do.
So what does fun look like to you? What is your list of things you like doing? Maybe you need to do an inventory and STOP doing some things because they are preventing you from doing the things you love.
This year, you should do those things.